STIGMA



When I look in the dictionary for all the words that apply to my condition, such as, invalid, handicapped, crippled, disabled, I notice that they all refer to a physical condition, in which one is not able to do the things most adult normal functioning humans can do.
Its only “double handicapped” that refers to physical and mental disfunctioning and “mental handicap” is obviously referring to a brain disfunction.
Despite this very clear statement “physical” disfunctioning - ignorance? fear? stupidity? or whatever - a wheelchair user will often be automatically treated as mentally disfunctioning.
Some examples:
*I go shopping in my wheelchair together with a friend on foot and ask the salesmanager a question, he answers right back to my compagnon ignoring me.
*I arrive at a junction and wait to cross the road, some unknown indvidual squeezes my painful shoulder and asks “are you allowed out alone in this dangerous traffic?” thinking he was being funny.
*I am in town and ask a passer by the way to..... I have several possibilities: he/she runs away and acts deaf, or he/she starts talking loud with huge gestures acting as if I am deaf or an idiot (up to me to guess).
*I am passing through a shopping street and an acquaintance from the distant past shouts: “Oh my god, what’s happened to you? Do you remember me? I have just been to the vet, my cat is sick, my husband is an asshole, ......” telling me all about their miserable life, thinking I have nothing else to do than freeze to death listening to this bullshit.... I escape from this avalanche of words by turning my wheelchair and drive away fast, thinking: “Another one that will think I’m the one whom is nuts”.
*The most horryfying experience in PUERTO DEL CARMEN, LANZAROTE: I give my bankcard to a shopkeeper to pay 20 euro, she puts it in her machine and throws it back at me saying rudely: ”there is no money on that account” – me, rather surprised thinking my card is damaged I give another card, she tries again and shouts “if you don’t have money you can’t buy anything” with an expression of disgust for so much stupidity... at the same time her collegue says “but, of course it does not work, I am on the phone”...... the bankcard got quickly slammed back in the machine, no excuses ..... I was trembling from the shock of being so brutally spoken to and regretted I did not react with my classic remark "It's only my back that is damaged, not my brain”.
*I tell the technician:"My elevator is not functioning properly" - "No, no madame" -disdainful- "don't worry we know our job". Shortly after that the supporting axel fell out of place and almost made me break my neck and my mobile home. You have two problems" said a friend: "you are a woman and an invalid"(which means that no one listens to your technical intuition).